Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
