Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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