ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
