wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
