so let's talk penis.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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