Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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