she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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