I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
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We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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