is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
