Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
