We're facebook friends in real life
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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