Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol