It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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