I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.