Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.