when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
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He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago