Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
