This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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