I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
