I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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