i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
