I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
