well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
