Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Randomize
