The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
