Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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