I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
