Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
