So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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