I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
