Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
