butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
