the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
