So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
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I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
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You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I see more hoeing in ur future
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