I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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