Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Randomize