why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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