did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
