Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
