i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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