if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
