I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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