OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
