STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
