If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize