he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
you never un-have a 4some
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
