had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
