You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
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don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
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She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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