If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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