How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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