So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
