She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
