party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
