is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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