Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize