I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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