Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Randomize
