i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
