Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
