Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
