I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize
