Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
