quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
