I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We just shotgunned beers for America
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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